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“Ambassador Kell, I had been hoping to find you here.”
His system had been unable to locate the being, but Brooks knew that Kell often came to this spot.
As soon as he had come onto the observation deck, he had felt the Ambassador’s presence.
After the staff of the lounges had privately complained to Brooks about Kell’s unnerving presence each evening, he had suggested to the being a more secluded spot from which to view the stars.
Kell had made no issue of it; perhaps he even preferred the solitude of it himself.
“Speak,” Kell replied, not pulling his eyes away from the glass. It was extremely thick, actually a form of translucent titanium, made to a quality that took an industrial system a whole year to fabricate. The atomic lattice was absolutely flawless, resulting in a block clearer than the purest of water. One of the very few true windows on the ship that let one see space with their own eyes.
Brooks normally would have enjoyed looking out, but right now he set his gaze on Kell.
“Have you been informed of our latest orders?”
Kell waved a hand dismissively. “Aiding the Hev-beings who face extinction.”
“Yes . . . do you understand the ramifications? We are going into a warzone. There is the risk that we will face combat.”
“And?” Kell asked.
“It is possible that this ship, and all on it, could die. Including yourself, Ambassador.”
“I trust you will seek to avoid this fate.”
“Of course. This ship is a city, and I will do everything I can to protect all lives aboard,” Brooks replied.
“I am curious, however – if it is a city,” Kell said. “Why take it to a war zone?”
Brooks had thought the same question, but the answer was, at the end of the day, simple enough.
“We are ordered to do it,” he said. “Everyone on this ship knows what they were signing up for when they came aboard. A city-ship is unique from either alone – but one factor that we cannot escape is that no ship is ever as safe as a city on a world or a habitat cylinder in a civilized system.
“Nevertheless, some people may disembark, if they wish. All of the children, for example. It is very good we have the chance to do that this time.
“And, of course, if you wish to get off the ship now, you are free to do so. No one would judge. You are not a soldier.”
Kell turned to look at him, frowning heavily. His air seemed vaguely insulted.
“And go where?” he asked.
“Back to Earth, perhaps? Surely there is work you could do there if you wish.”
“No,” Kell said. “I will stay on this ship. And if it is destroyed, then perhaps I will die with it.”
Brooks hesitated. He still was not sure that Kell truly understood; if the ship was destroyed, he would certainly be killed. But he did not wish to insult the Ambassador; he was a grown being, and so nodded. “I understand. I apologize if I’ve offended you.”
“You have not, but you are still naive in ways.”
“How so?”
“All of my kind are soldiers,” Kell told him. “And I do not fear my own death. How can I have anything left to fear after so long?”
Brooks recoiled slightly. Not at the concept, but . . . it was the first time he had ever heard of any Shoggoth describing themselves as . . . well, anything.
“If you are soldiers, who are your enemies?” Brooks asked.
“They are gone,” Kell told him. “My people were all things all at once. At least all things that mattered. Soldiers – laborers – the working ones upon whom all societies depend.”
Brooks was silent a moment before replying. “Then we have that in common. We are all working people in the Sapient Union. We long ago rid ourselves of masters.”
Kell seemed to find some pleasure in that, a smile curling his lips just slightly.
Brooks let the silence linger for a little while longer, then spoke again. “I am sorry for what transpired at the tribunal. It should not have been about your people.”
“It was likely Freeman’s plan all along. He has made a move, and my people will learn to respond.”
“By giving him what he wants?”
“Perhaps,” Kell replied. “But perhaps not.”
Brooks felt a surge of frustration, as so many conversations with Kell turned this . . . unfruitful.
“Will you need to confer more with your ambassadorial staff?” he asked.
Kell gave him a quizzical look.
“The Shoggoths with you on Earth. I know Gress is an ambassador as well, but the rest of them, I took them to be your assistants.”
“You are incorrect,” Kell said. “They were an escort.”
That seemed curious. “I’ve never seen another Shoggoth having an escort like that.”
“It is unusual. But it is the only way I am allowed back on Earth – and even then, only for the most important of affairs.”
Brooks took a moment to comprehend what Kell said. “You mean – they were not for your protection, but-“
“That is correct, Captain,” Kell said. His voice was still its normal monotone, but a sadness had crept into it, and he stared intensely out at the stars, as if refusing to look away. “I am not welcome by my kind on Earth. I am not loved, but hated, and exiled from my home.”
“Why?” Brooks burst. “What . . . are you accused of?”
Kell laughed, but it was a mirthless sound. “You so often attempt to phrase things politely, but it is not an accusation, and has nothing to do with the infant Leviathan I sent back to the void. I did not commit a crime – not as you know them. We have no laws, only custom. But what I did was among the worst acts in my people’s history.”
The Ambassador looked at him, eyes boring into Brooks’s, both human and utterly inhuman. “I will never again be able to go home.”
“And this act of yours, the worst thing ever done . . .”
“Not the worst,” Kell said pointedly. “There was something worse.” He looked away, and shrugged, though his shoulders did not quite move like a human’s should, the point was achieved. “As minor as it is, the distinction matters to me.”
Brooks could think of nothing to say, but Kell continued speaking; being, perhaps, the most talkative he had ever been.
“I stand by what I did – and I know you wish to know what it was. Part of me wishes to tell you. Sometimes my silence, Captain, is not because I despise you all, or consider you beneath me – though I have my moments of those feelings. But the gulf between us is felt both ways, Captain. Despite my best efforts, I do not yet know how to tell you all that I know. Where do I begin a story that is a thousand times older than your species?”
“I don’t know,” Brooks admitted. “But if you do decide you wish to tell me something, you can tell me in confidence.” He pointedly reached up and turned off his system. “There will be no record, and I will not tell anyone.”
Kell studied him a moment, then looked back to the stars. “Why do you offer? Simple curiosity?”
“I would be lying if I said I was not curious. But I also know that no human can keep such things inside forever. It eats at us, poisons us from the inside. Perhaps your people can keep a secret forever, I don’t know. But if it helps . . . I will listen. Not to judge, without comment, telling no one what you tell me.”
The Shoggoth was quiet a moment, unblinkingly looking out into space.
Then, slowly, he shook his head.
“There is too much explanation behind it all, Ian Brooks, and . . .”
He turned away from the windows.
“I have grown weary of talking.”
FINIS
Other Terrestrial 
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