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“Do you come to the lounges often?” Apollonia asked her, putting her elbows on the table and leaning forward. She found herself doubting it; people in here seemed to be loosening up a lot; she saw officers of the ship laughing it up, some were even dancing in an open area.
Jaya didn’t look anymore the dancing type than Dr. Y.
But then, what did she know?
“No,” Jaya said. “Occasionally, but not often. I came here today to find you, actually.”
“Ah,” Apollonia replied unenthusiastically, finishing the last of her watery drink. She thought about asking Jaya if she’d order her another, but decided not to push it. An officer on the ship she trusted slightly more, but the real question was how much of a stickler for the rules the woman was.
“I wish to know if you have decided whether to accept commission aboard the ship yet,” Jaya continued.
“Dunno,” Apollonia replied, looking into her empty cup.
“It is something you should be giving a lot of attention to,” Jaya pushed.
“Let me ask you, Commander – if I was under your command, what would you order me to do? Everyone else has been stressing how little they will demand of me, but you – you seem the type to demand. So what would it be?”
Jaya chuckled. “My, you do have a good read of me, Ms. Nor. But yes, I do have an idea; I would order you to go back onto the Chain. That is what you wished to know, I presume?”
“Yeah,” Apollonia replied. “But you don’t know what it’s like to do that.”
“No, I do not,” Jaya responded. “But were you under my command, I would order you anyway. Because there is a very good reason for such an order to be given.”
Apollonia grimaced, slowly leaning back in her seat. “I have an idea.”
“Then you understand why it matters.”
“I don’t think it’ll do any good,” she replied. “It’s just torture. Walking into a field of rusty bayonets. Do you really need me on the other side?”
Jaya studied Apollonia carefully, taking in the details of the woman. Sizing her up. “Quite possibly. But let me ask you, Ms. Nor – do you know why those very disturbing medical cases are in the Chain?”
“I was told about the battle,” Apollonia replied. “A lot of people died.”
“Yes. People die in the line of duty, and they do so willingly. Do you know why?”
“I’m not an officer,” Apollonia replied. “I don’t mean to be callous, but I don’t understand why they do it, no. I really can’t understand it at all.”
She waved across the room. “I came out here hoping to see a reason. Everything looks great here. It’s so suspiciously nice that I just can’t make myself believe it. Is there something in the water, I keep wondering? But I don’t see it. I just see everyone living their lives, doing their jobs like they don’t have a care in the universe. I wish I could feel that, but I don’t. I look around, and even though everything looks great I can’t make myself care. I literally can’t.”
“The best officer I ever knew died in the line of duty,” Jaya said, out of the blue. “He was the Chief of Engineering on a ship that suffered a catastrophic failure of its zerodrive while in zerospace. Despite a radiation leak in the affected section, he entered and solved the problem in time to save the ship.”
Apollonia sat up straighter, putting her glass down on the table.
“When the Captain of his vessel gave him the order, this young officer went off without hesitation. Some reports even say he was smiling, and I think it might be true. I can tell you why he did it. Would you like to know?”
“Yes,” Apollonia replied. Her mouth felt dry.
“Because he was the one who could. For years after I learned of what happened I hated that this brave young officer was ordered to his death. But eventually, I understood; this young man did not want to die. He would have fought with all his might to live, were it only affecting him. But in this case, he calmly walked to his death because he knew no one else could save the five thousand crew members of his vessel. His Captain made the correct choice when he chose him for the task. It was not an easy choice to make.”
Jaya stared at her, and Apollonia felt small. She looked down into her glass to avoid the other woman’s eyes.
“Sounds like a real good guy,” she replied weakly.
“If you were under my command, I would order you onto the vessel because we have a situation and you may be the only one who can do something about it. I do not know that – I only suspect. Likewise, you do not know if you will be truly harmed by going in. There are many things we do not know, and right now we need to know.”
“So I should be happy to sacrifice myself for everyone else,” Apollonia replied. “It sounds nice. Really poetic – be a hero. But I don’t know that I am a hero, Jaya.”
“The question is not if you think you are willing to sacrifice, Ms. Nor. The question is ‘what kind of person do you want to be?’ We all die. We do not always get to choose how. When that officer on the ship walked to his death smiling, I believe he was smiling because he knew he had chosen his fate. He had been given the power of choosing how he faced death, and he chose a way that was meaningful to him.”
Jaya finished speaking and took a deep breath. Taking her drink, she knocked it back and then put the glass down on the table.
“You have a choice, Ms. Nor. It is your choice, and it is an important one. I hope that by tomorrow morning you will inform me that you have made a decision.”
Apollonia watched the other woman as she stood. As she walked away, Apollonia called out to her.
“Commander Yaepanaya,” she said. “Who was that officer to you?”
Jaya stopped and looked back at her calmly.
“He was my brother.”
Other Terrestrial 